A Ballad of a long October

It doesn't matter what you do

And it doesn't matter what you say

I'm simply going to miss my lover today

I walked along the water's edge

And the water gods whispered my name

Their sweet like honey voices

Could not change my focus

I walk to the middle of the forest

And I even twirl and swirled around

The trees beckon me to dance

Trying to tempt me with their

Red and gold and yellow Hughes

To come out of my trance

But all I wanted is to sway to the wind in my lovers arms

It is something in the air,

The way it smells

It reminds me of his skin

All I know he is half a world a way

He is in the future

I'm in the past

And I'm hungrily hanging on

Waiting for October to pass

Lines and Shadows

Lines and shadows

Carry her down

Take her to a place

Of beautiful perfection

Discipline

In the way he holds his shoulders

Down to his hands

His strong beautiful hands

To breathe him in is like

Taking all that makes her feels safe and free

And turning her into an animal

Wanting to bite and burry

Her face in the curve of his neck

Wide Open

Somewhere between

Home and not home

Feeing safe and not safe

Feeling loved and not loved

I go lay on the autumn ground

Breathing in deep the smell of wet leaves and dirt

I let myself

Sink deep

down into the wet grass

I feel the vibrations of the earth

the feeling starts at the very center of my body and

grows

it grows just like the wild forest

just like the

ocean

spanning further then the eye can see

out past the sun and spiraling off the moon

it radiates heat and light

and love

and shows me

me

I feel myself open

Open to the earth

Opening like the earth would open to her lover

I am wide open

Surrounded by grass and trees and sky

I am wide open

I can feel the light pouring from my soul and nurturing the

Green grass just like the sun

I am the sun

I am the moon

I am everything

I am wide open

For the first time

I let myself feel my openness

And it carries me to the sky

Like a pinball I bounce back and forth off the stars

And I soar like a dove

No like a seagull

I am flying over the ocean

With no land in sight

There is nothing but existing

Nothing

no fear

no chaos

Nothing but beauty, light, and love

I am wide open

Howling at the Moon

My hair wet with cold autumn rain

Sticking to the side of face

Nostrils flair

Breathing in the beloved October sky

Bare feet planted into the cold wet grass

The moon hanging before me like some

Ancient temple to the insane

Crouching down half woman

Half wolf

I bare my teeth

And pray to this moon

For relief

I cannot move my eyes from it

I'm in a trace

The big glowing circle of light

Reminding me that I am merely a woman

That all I can do is accept the constant change

Digging my nails into the wet dirt

Arching my back

I howl

I howl for my freedom

I howl for my beauty

I scream for the earth

To hold me and embrace me

And make me her servant

Like Harmony

I'm digging deep down

Looking listening

Trying to scratch this itch

Trying to feel the truth

I feel so lost

So wrong

But also

So right

How can they coexist?

This black

This white

All living inside of me

No inter mingling between the two

Just black

Just white

There will be no swirls

Turning me to grey

So ill look

Ill listen

So give

ill take

You blame

Ill frame

It will be a gravitational pull

They say we find our dents

I'm white

You're black

Your light

I'm dark

It starts and stops and

Begins again

Pulling us together

Wrapping around this circuitry

Like

Harmony